Author: Humbug

Well I can safely say it’s been a crap week. Pain and anxiety have been completely off this week. I’ve spent most of the week in agony and high as a kite on tramadol. Even though I haven’t been feeling the good high. I’ve no idea if it’s that or something else that’s been setting off my anxiety. There have been a fair few panic/anxiety attacks this week. I haven’t been able to pin down what it is that’s been causing them. All of a sudden it starts to build and I can feel it building. It’s crap because I know what’s coming next. Sometimes I can stop it but most of the time I can’t.

When I can’t stop it it’s goes all out and hell for leather to a full on anxiety attack. I don’t know what causes it or what it is that has scared me or anything it just happens. I then go into full on breakdown and start to curl up in a corner.

One thing I know I can’t stand is other people arguing. I know that will start the troubles. If arguments happen near me I have to go and hide. If I know something is going to happen I get out of the way as quickly as I can then I don’t have to face it. If I have to be involved in a disagreement I have to build my self up for it but it still takes its toll on me.

I know reiki has been a godsend for me this last week though. I have been blasting myself with it quite a bit. I’ve been feeling sick a lot this week too. It’s been happening when I’m hungry or when I’ve eaten. If it’s a simple meal or a complex one I can’t escape it. The reiki has been helping with the pain a bit though which is good. Karuna has been mixed in there too and something new that came to me a week or two ago I called it Source energy that’s nice to use as well. I know I need to do some more work with that and I will do. I just need the pain and sick feeling to give me a break for a bit and the anxiety needs to bugger off for a bit to.

What have I been up to for the last week besides hiding, crying and being scared? Well there has been knitting, I’m still working on my alpaca. I haven’t done any crochet. I’ve been playing with energy healing and crystals. What else? I’ve been to the spiritualist church a couple of time and that’s nice with some great people. I can’t think of anything else.

Anyway love and light.

Why the hell do I have to have a complete and utter break down over something completely stupid.

I’ve lost part of my tragus earring. The crystal bit. I had an itchy ear so I scratched it and the bar bit of my earring came away in my hand. I started huffing and puffing while searching. I had the pillows off my bed, I shook out the sheets. I pulled the mattress and bed away from the wall. I was searching high and low for the missing part of my earring.

While huffing a puffing and halfway between the bed and the wall I started crying. So my eyes full of tears I couldn’t see what I was looking for. I was so stressed and worked up. Part of my brain was saying how stupid this was but the other half couldn’t stop worrying and stressing about it.

I sent my mum a message saying help, I didn’t get a reply so I called her. So if you imagine me stressed out, crying, huffing and puffing and pinned between the bed and the wall not being able to function. I must have made quite a vision.

So my mum came into my room. Found me, and asked what was wrong. I was in such a state I could t speak. All I could do was point to my ear, well my missing earring.

It took me a while but I eventually managed to calm down a bit and tell her what had happened. She managed to calm me down and get me to understand how silly it was to get worked up over something so small.

I knew it was stupid but I just couldn’t stop worrying. My mum said we will have a proper look tomorrow morning when we could see clearly. If we can’t find the missing part tomorrow we will get another one. It makes sense.

Now I’m just taking relaxing breaths and watching a comedy on tv.

Love and light

So what to say about this week and where to begin.

I’ve not been one to follow the movement of planets and stuff. This is mainly down to the fact that I don’t think I’ve been impacted by them before. But, Mercury is in retrograde. Being honest it one of those things that I’ve never looked into. But it means that where the planet is it appears to be spinning backwards. I don’t think planets change their direction of orbit or spin but at the moment it just looks like that’s what it’s doing. It’s doing this in Pieces. This lasts for three weeks and it’s supposed to mess about with different things like electronics, contracts and emotions. My emotions have been completely off this last week. I know I forgot to take some pills last week but I’m back on track now so it shouldn’t be that. Everything emotional and anxiety wise has just been booming this week.

The other day my anxiety decided to rear it’s head. I was sat at home watching TV, my body decided I was scared, and I had to curl up and try to hide behind some cushions on the couch. I ain’t the smallest of people and the cushions aren’t that big. Hiding wise they aren’t really that good. I started crying and just didn’t know why or what to do. I was lucky though, I was only curled up for 20 minutes. My mum and dad got home after that and started to try and sort me out. It took another 10 minutes but things got better. I managed to calm down and get myself sorted out. My mum is amazing at getting me sorted.

Saturday night was another night when I was feeling off. I wasn’t doing anything and I just felt everything was happening to fast. The world was spinning to fast and I wanted to get off. This time though I managed to calm myself down.

If this Mercury retrograde thing is causing this it needs to bigger off. I’m using crystals though to help me. I made myself some little crystals survival bags to get through this retrograde thing.

Different tigers eyes, Rose Quartz, Labradorite, amethyst, clear quartz, charoite, lunar rose quartz, Luna quartz and a bit of jasper. I made another one to with other things in it but I can’t remember what’s in that one. (Shit memory). The crystals are helping. So that’s good.

I’ve been having issues with noise recently. Partly sensory overload and partly anxiety. One seems to set the other off. People just being loud have been making me angry, getting me worked up and setting off the good old anxiety. I’ve been using my ear plugs quite a bit. They only partly help, they dull down the noises which makes them easier to deal with but don’t block it out. It’s normally loud people that have in your face conversations. People talking normally don’t bother me. Loud people that just make noise for the sake of it really set me off, kids being kids aren’t great either. I know the noise they make is just them being them but I really struggle with it. Again things started this afternoon because of a loud person. I was scared, juddery and just didn’t like it and had to get away from it. It’s hard in public, you don’t want to start crying and shaking, you don’t want to make a fit of yourself because you can’t help it. I just had to hide.

Knitting wise I’ve been trying to knit some oven gloves. I got a pattern then realised it didn’t have a thumb so gave up with that. I then decided to follow a normal mitten pattern but I doubled it. That started coming out as too big, so another one I gave up with. I then went on to search the internet for another patter. Could I find one. It would have been easier to find rocking horse shit. The only things I could find were crochet patterns. I found a video on YouTube for a crochet oven glove. I partly used that to figure out how to shape it but as for the rest of it I just made it up. But know I have made an oven glove.

It’s a bit big round the bottom but it works and does the job so I’m not really that bothered. I just need to make another one now so there is a pair. I started the second one earlier. I’ll finish it at some point but I’m not rushing.

Today I decided to start a new project. Now I’m making a large alpaca. So that should work out well and I’ll put pictures up of that when I’m done.

I got a few other toy patterns too. One for aliens and the other for hand puppets. Again more pics of those will come when and if I eventually do them.

I did a healing session earlier too. That seemed to go well, it helped me feel better and I know it will help the people the healing was directed at. It was just setting up an event on Facebook, people could add names to a list and anyone can help with the healing, they just focus on sending it to the people on the list.

Friday was one hell of a day for the world. New Zealand and that monster that decided to shoot innocent people. It’s disgusting and I’m appalled it happened. Why do people have so much hate in them that they have to go and do these things. Something else I found out and remembered yesterday that we now have family in Christchurch too. They weren’t caught up in any of it, thank god, but they will be shook up by it.

Anyway sending out love and light to everyone and ask you all to do the same.

Well I’ve had a bit of a dodgy weekend. Friday night was going well. I went to an AGM at the local spiritualist church. That was a bit boring but AGMs normally are. After that I did end up getting a bit of a history lesson and tour of the building and that was cool. But come bed time I was in absolute agony. Nearly everything hurt. It was only Saturday I noticed why. Being the bright spark I am I forgot to take my medication on Friday night.

I have learnt from this, I now know that my pills help me so much. Saturday I was completely off. My anxiety ran rampant and pain wasn’t great either. I also realised that opiates can help loads too. The pain was that bad that the Tranadol had to come out. It helped a bit with the pain but not much. It took some of the edge off it. I did realise that Amytriptaline helps me loads. It helps a bit with the pain and also keeps emotions and stuff like that in check too.

It’s so hard to explain how I was on Saturday. It was just a really really really bad day. Everything was completely off and I struggled like hell to get through.

Yesterday wasn’t that great either. I did remember my meds though on Saturday night. It was another painful day but that wasn’t all. I decided to pull back my knitting project and start that again so that’s one thing. During knitting it also came up that I was a psychic and a medium. I expected that when that happened that I would be burnt at the stake. That didn’t happen and people seemed really interested. So that was nice.

When it came to the evening I finished the last lot of pills that I had and no more we’re ready or set up. Going through the pull box and starting to set up some for today mum realised that we didn’t have all the pills that I needed or asked for on the prescription. So that stressed me out completely. I just got lost and had no idea what to do or what I was doing. Mum managed to calm me down.

Today mum made calls to find out what had happened. Again being stressed out and worried. Mum managed to sort me and the drug problem out. So just waiting for them now.

Pain is still always around and it’s becoming an old friend that I’m starting to accept and just put up with.

Anyway enough of me waffling.

Love and light.

Labradorite for me is a stone of clairvoyance. It helps you to see things clearly and properly. It will help you see into the heart of any situation.

Labradorite is also a stone of magic and can help you connect to the power of source (all that is). It can be used to help you focus and channel source energy and add it to any spell, prayer or ritual you’re doing (that’s if you do anything like that).

I’ve found that this crystal can also give you a boost of energy if you’re feeling drained and depleted. It’s not one to fully recharge your batteries but just for that extra boost.

Clear Quartz the stone with a million and one uses. This stone is amazing and can literally do anything. The is the only stone that can be programmed to take on any task. Currently I have a piece of clear quartz programmed to draw out and take away pain. I get a lot of pain due to my MS and the programmed stone helps me loads.

It’s simple enough to programme a piece, all you have to do is tell it what you want it to do. Some people will say you have to follow a set ritual and the moon has to be in the right phase and it has to be a set day and at a set time. Personally I think that’s just a load of crap. Just ask it to do what you want it to and it will.

A programmed piece of quartz can take the place of any crystal you don’t have when making up a grid. Clear Quartz points are excellent at focusing and directing energy. Normally if I’m doing a crystal healing session I’ll put a grid of quartz points around the client to focus and direct the healing energy. I’ve also used them round grids to do the same thing.

Just looking at the crystal brings clear and focused thoughts and can be a great help if you have trouble concentrating.

I’ve had a crystal that I’ve been using as my crystal comfort blanket for a good few years now. If I don’t have it with me I feel lost, alone and naked. I hate not having it with me. My parents even call it my pet rock as I’m not normally with out it.

This is my pet rock. It may be a little bartered and bruised but it helps me so much I can’t t explain it.

As the stone has a million different uses there are loads of different types of clear quartz formations and they all have different specialties. One day I may start a list about these but that’s not for now.

Woooooooooo

I don’t believe what I’ve just done.

I have just done my first ever live video. I did it on Keystone Crystals. I did what I call a Psychic Sunday. Normally I do it all by message and typing but this time it was a live video stream. I opened up and passed on messages from the people in spirit that came through.

From a spirit point of view it was quite busy. Lots of spirit people wanting to come through for a chat. Most of them though just the normal nosey sort of people that want to see what’s going on and just want to say hi.

As that was the case for most of the people I needed to be pretty stern and tell them to go away if they didn’t have a message. I have absolutely nothing idea now what I said or who came through. I just don’t remember. Partly because of my rubbish memory and partly because when I’m doing spirit work it just comes through me so I don’t retain the information.

Now I feel like I’m buzzing mainly because I’ve done something I’ve never done before and for the fact that I did it and my anxiety and stuff didn’t come in to it. The anxiety has started again now but I’m beating it down because I’m now in a good mood because of what I’ve done.

The pain was there all the time but it didn’t bother me. Working with spirit generally makes me feel good and helps block out the pain.

The one thing I do remember from the session is that a lovely old lady came through. And the amount of love and support that freely flowed from her was amazing. I have a feeling that she came through for someone that wasn’t on the video. I now have to decide if I should message the person or not. I’m not sure if the person I feel the message is for is in the right place to hear it.

Anyway I’ll be off I just felt I need to write about what I’ve just done. I’m buzzing.

Love and light

Amethyst is probably one of the first crystal you worked with weather you new it or not. It is normally one of the first crystals that is picked up at the start of a collection weather for healing or not. Amethyst is known by some as a master healer as it can help with so many different things.

This is an amazing stone when working on sleep matters. This stone can help you sleep deeply and soundly. It’s a good stone for protection as it just instils a feeling of being safe, supported and comforted. Just having a piece of amethyst in the room can help clean the energy of the space by filling the room with energy and pushing out anything bad.

It is also a great third eye stone, it will energies and open this chakra and help you see things as the truly are on an energetic level.

For developing psychic abilities it will help keep thing going at a slow steady pace. It work very well to help heal headaches and migraines.

Black tourmaline is a great grounding and protection stone. It works wonders when it comes to energetic protection, when paired with Selenite it works even better.

Black tourmaline will absorb any negative energy so it will help draw out anything that needs healing.

This crystal will aid in psychic development by making sure you are grounded throughout the task in question. “You need to have your feet firmly planted on the ground before you can fly”.

If you place this crystal above your door it will absorb anything negative that try’s to come through it. It can also stop unwanted guests coming in.