Well I can safely say it’s been a crap week. Pain and anxiety have been completely off this week. I’ve spent most of the week in agony and high as a kite on tramadol. Even though I haven’t been feeling the good high. I’ve no idea if it’s that or something else that’s been setting off my anxiety. There have been a fair few panic/anxiety attacks this week. I haven’t been able to pin down what it is that’s been causing them. All of a sudden it starts to build and I can feel it building. It’s crap because I know what’s coming next. Sometimes I can stop it but most of the time I can’t.
When I can’t stop it it’s goes all out and hell for leather to a full on anxiety attack. I don’t know what causes it or what it is that has scared me or anything it just happens. I then go into full on breakdown and start to curl up in a corner.
One thing I know I can’t stand is other people arguing. I know that will start the troubles. If arguments happen near me I have to go and hide. If I know something is going to happen I get out of the way as quickly as I can then I don’t have to face it. If I have to be involved in a disagreement I have to build my self up for it but it still takes its toll on me.
I know reiki has been a godsend for me this last week though. I have been blasting myself with it quite a bit. I’ve been feeling sick a lot this week too. It’s been happening when I’m hungry or when I’ve eaten. If it’s a simple meal or a complex one I can’t escape it. The reiki has been helping with the pain a bit though which is good. Karuna has been mixed in there too and something new that came to me a week or two ago I called it Source energy that’s nice to use as well. I know I need to do some more work with that and I will do. I just need the pain and sick feeling to give me a break for a bit and the anxiety needs to bugger off for a bit to.
What have I been up to for the last week besides hiding, crying and being scared? Well there has been knitting, I’m still working on my alpaca. I haven’t done any crochet. I’ve been playing with energy healing and crystals. What else? I’ve been to the spiritualist church a couple of time and that’s nice with some great people. I can’t think of anything else.
Anyway love and light.