It’s crap when you aren’t believed. But that’s what I’m facing at the moment. You may or may not know that I had an appointment with the neurologist last week. I think I mentioned it on here but I can’t remember.

Had the appointment last week. Ended up going in my wheelchair. Let just say it was a painful day. During the appointment I talked about the pain I had and get and where it is and affects. He basically told me I shouldn’t be in a wheelchair and that he wants me to come off the medication. He wants me to move more and exercise, lose weight and join a gym. He said there were other people that have had the treatment and are know for and back to normal.

So basically he didn’t believe a word I said. My mum also mentioned that I have started knitting. He didn’t like that one bit. He said so it’s more sitting around. He also said that the medication could be causing the issues I’m having. Pain Killer causing pain? Really?

Just to point out I use my wheelchair when I’m in pain or when I need to move distance and walking like that far would aggravate the pain that already there. I am in pain most of the time which is hard enough to deal with but there are times when I can and do push myself and times when I can’t push myself or deal with the pain and it gets more intense.

So with the help of my mum when it can to do my pills I decided to follow the instruction from him. We reduced the gabapentin. That lasted all of 3 days. The pain I was in got worse and worse and worse until agony set in and the pain became unbearable. So I think it’s safe to say that gabapentin is doing something. It could do more but hey ho. He did say one thing that made sense though, he said I would have to deal with some amount of pain. I thought that was fair enough and it makes sense.

The letter arrived this morning with the information of the appointment and next steps and all that crap. This is written proof that he didn’t believe a single word I said. It’s tempting to run over him in my wheelchair and beat him with my walking stick and then tell him to walk it off and man up. You’ll have to deal with some pain. Arsehole!

Yesterday was a crap day too. The medication has gone back up. Our choice not his. Bug last night I had to sit down on the stairs. I made it up about 3 steps and the pain just got too much, so I had to stop. I had to rest and sit there for about 10 minutes.

As it’s nerve pain there are only some painkillers that work. Cocodamol and ibuprofen wouldn’t do anything they’re for normal pain and not nerve pain. If that makes any sense. Tramadol don’t touch it but they have spaced me out in the past which I’m a way can help.

Now I’m not so sure what to do. Go into agony and move more and reduce my meds or stick with things as I am and have a word with my GP. Not sure. I know I don’t want to be in pain all the time or even agony.

I’ve also been getting annoyed by other people too recently. The ones that seem to have an issue with absolutely everything and always want things that are wrong because they don’t agree with it. Like they want an essay on a poster that people would never look at if it’s too wordy. And when you try to tell them they throw their toys out of the pram and say they wouldn’t do anything then.

Anyway, screw him (the neurologist) the people that cause problems for the sake of it and above all fuck you MS.

Love and light.