It’s been a while since I’ve been this open and honest on here. That’s mainly down to the fact I haven’t done a proper post in ages. But it’s time to be honest.

At the moment I’m feeling pretty shitty. When I’m feeling like this I don’t really like focusing on it but I feel I need to just get it out there.

My anxiety and mental health isn’t that great at the moment. I’m not really sure why but I keep feeling like I’ve upset people and that they hate me. I just feel like they are tolerating me and the moment I’ve gone they are slagging me off and calling me rotten. Part of me feels that way and the other part of me is saying “Shut up! You know that’s a load of bollocks and they aren’t doing that at all”.

Because I’m feeling like that some things that other people are doing, are really getting on my nerves. Like if someone says something that really irritates me and I just want to scream “shut the F up”! At them. I don’t, but that just sits in my head going round and round and round and then something else gets said and the process starts all over again.

Then there are certain people that annoy the hell out of me. Like people from my past that treated me like shit and I haven’t spoken to in years suddenly appear. Or people from more recently that caused a load of shit, then decided to leave everyone else cleaning up their mess.

The person from the past that treated me like shit turned up one night while I was live on TikTok with Sharon. I saw their name and profile picture and it made some uncomfortable feelings come flooding back. At one point they were one of my best friends. Well, what I thought anyway. Looking back though, they always did treat me like shit. But for some unknown reason I always kept them around. I haven’t seen or spoken to them though in about 8 years. The last interaction I had with them wasn’t long after I was diagnosed with MS.

I was in a WhatsApp group with some other friends. One of them just happened to be with this arsehole. I sent a message saying something along the lines of that I wasn’t feeling great because of everything I was going through at the time. And they sent a message back using the friend’s phone that totally invalidated everything and made me feel worse than I already did.

That was the last interaction I had with them until they popped up again on that live. The didn’t say anything or do anything and they didn’t hang around for long but as soon as they left I blocked them on TikTok and everywhere else.

As for the more recent person I just pretty much refuse to interact with them. If I have to I’ll be polite and civil but that’s it.

I know that’s been a bit of a rant but getting it out there has made me feel a little be better about everything.

Because my mental health and anxiety have been playing up it seems to aggravate my MS Symptoms too. Not sure why they seem to be connected but when one thing starts it won’t be long before the other does too.

The other thing about the way I’m feeling is that I just feel uncomfortable around other people. I just don’t want to bring them down. So it sort of becomes a bit of an isolation thing. Keeping people away because you don’t want to upset them. But because you’re keeping people away you start to feel lonely and like nobody cares about you. It’s one of those really crappy viscous circle things.

I think a lot of my feelings is mainly down to being tired.

Over the last few weeks I’ve still been working on my craft things. Tunisian Crochet, tangling, card making and flower making. And I’ve been spending lots of time online too. Ive been doing lives of my own on TikTok giving people messages and readings. I enjoy it and it makes me feel better helping other people and giving them a bit of healing.

So here are some pictures of my crafty things from the last few weeks:

Sanntangle:

And I also did a sample for Sandra and it was shown on Hobby Maker:

And and an old sample I did was shown on TV today:

I’ve been making some cards too:

I’ve been playing with vinyl too. A candle and lantern for katie for to use at the wave of light.

Some bits for Halloween

I’ve also made a Santa Cam ready for Christmas so Santa can keep an eye on Lucy to make sure she’s good:

And put some HTV on a pouch for my meds and stuff and it glows in the dark too:

Ii. The last post there were some picture of flowers I’ve made but I’ve been asked to make some poppies for church ready for remembrance

A couple of other flowers too:

I also set up a discord server for mediums, card readers, psychics and healers. It’s a place for people to come together, chat and share information. I used AI to create a logo for the group:

So if you or anyone you know that is a light worker would like to join drop me a message and I’ll send over the details.

There may well be other things I’ve done but I can’t remember and forgot to take pictures. So I’m going to leave it there.

Love and light