Fear and shock


Well it’s been an interesting couple of days. To start of with my mum is now learning to knit. That’s a bit of a shock in its self.

For the past couple of days I’ve been struggling. Pain, it isn’t great and it’s been so intense. I’ve not really been able to ignore it or distract myself.

For the past few days I’ve had a really bad time with fear. I’ve been really scared and had no idea why. Had the adrenaline surge and everything. It’s been weird. Just a feeling of fear and dread. It’s not bad if you know what you’re scared of you can work it out. If you don’t know what do you do then?

Shock wise this hasn’t been a bad thing they’ve been shocks in a good way. First thing is that my mum started knitting. We went to knitting club on Sunday and she was just sat there reading the paper and chatting. Then an 8 year old girl turned up and wanted to learn to knit. One of the ladies taught her what to do and helped her out. My mum was then bullied into learning by everyone else. So it then descended into a competition between my mum (she in her 60s) and the 8 year old girl. Both trying to out do the other. Difference being my mum was using big needles and super chunky wool the young girl on smaller needles and thinner wool.

Another shock for me was finding out someone’s age. A lady came to knitting club at the Jubilee centre. She has MS to. Nice lady and quite warm and friendly. The group organiser mentioned to her about the Christmas meal and said you can join the Centre. I said to her you aren’t old enough, you’ve got to be like 50 or something. She said you are nice. And then said she’d be 51 next year. I was shocked I thought she was only my age maybe a year or two older. But no, she’s 50.

Today was another shock for me. Had an appointment to go to a sleep clinic. Only got a call yesterday about it. The appointment was with a neurologist that specialises in sleep. He was really nice and inadvertently translated what the other crap one told me. But he did it in a nice way. He was easy to understand and friendly. He request a sleep study for me. So have to wait for that to happen. All I’ll need to do then is go to hospital be told how to set up the equipment then go home. That night I’ll have to wire myself up and go to bed. Next day take it all back and they can analyse all the data. After that I’m not sure what will happen.

Anyway, short and sweet.

Love and light.


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