So what to say about this week and where to begin.
I’ve not been one to follow the movement of planets and stuff. This is mainly down to the fact that I don’t think I’ve been impacted by them before. But, Mercury is in retrograde. Being honest it one of those things that I’ve never looked into. But it means that where the planet is it appears to be spinning backwards. I don’t think planets change their direction of orbit or spin but at the moment it just looks like that’s what it’s doing. It’s doing this in Pieces. This lasts for three weeks and it’s supposed to mess about with different things like electronics, contracts and emotions. My emotions have been completely off this last week. I know I forgot to take some pills last week but I’m back on track now so it shouldn’t be that. Everything emotional and anxiety wise has just been booming this week.
The other day my anxiety decided to rear it’s head. I was sat at home watching TV, my body decided I was scared, and I had to curl up and try to hide behind some cushions on the couch. I ain’t the smallest of people and the cushions aren’t that big. Hiding wise they aren’t really that good. I started crying and just didn’t know why or what to do. I was lucky though, I was only curled up for 20 minutes. My mum and dad got home after that and started to try and sort me out. It took another 10 minutes but things got better. I managed to calm down and get myself sorted out. My mum is amazing at getting me sorted.
Saturday night was another night when I was feeling off. I wasn’t doing anything and I just felt everything was happening to fast. The world was spinning to fast and I wanted to get off. This time though I managed to calm myself down.
If this Mercury retrograde thing is causing this it needs to bigger off. I’m using crystals though to help me. I made myself some little crystals survival bags to get through this retrograde thing.
Different tigers eyes, Rose Quartz, Labradorite, amethyst, clear quartz, charoite, lunar rose quartz, Luna quartz and a bit of jasper. I made another one to with other things in it but I can’t remember what’s in that one. (Shit memory). The crystals are helping. So that’s good.
I’ve been having issues with noise recently. Partly sensory overload and partly anxiety. One seems to set the other off. People just being loud have been making me angry, getting me worked up and setting off the good old anxiety. I’ve been using my ear plugs quite a bit. They only partly help, they dull down the noises which makes them easier to deal with but don’t block it out. It’s normally loud people that have in your face conversations. People talking normally don’t bother me. Loud people that just make noise for the sake of it really set me off, kids being kids aren’t great either. I know the noise they make is just them being them but I really struggle with it. Again things started this afternoon because of a loud person. I was scared, juddery and just didn’t like it and had to get away from it. It’s hard in public, you don’t want to start crying and shaking, you don’t want to make a fit of yourself because you can’t help it. I just had to hide.
Knitting wise I’ve been trying to knit some oven gloves. I got a pattern then realised it didn’t have a thumb so gave up with that. I then decided to follow a normal mitten pattern but I doubled it. That started coming out as too big, so another one I gave up with. I then went on to search the internet for another patter. Could I find one. It would have been easier to find rocking horse shit. The only things I could find were crochet patterns. I found a video on YouTube for a crochet oven glove. I partly used that to figure out how to shape it but as for the rest of it I just made it up. But know I have made an oven glove.
It’s a bit big round the bottom but it works and does the job so I’m not really that bothered. I just need to make another one now so there is a pair. I started the second one earlier. I’ll finish it at some point but I’m not rushing.
Today I decided to start a new project. Now I’m making a large alpaca. So that should work out well and I’ll put pictures up of that when I’m done.
I got a few other toy patterns too. One for aliens and the other for hand puppets. Again more pics of those will come when and if I eventually do them.
I did a healing session earlier too. That seemed to go well, it helped me feel better and I know it will help the people the healing was directed at. It was just setting up an event on Facebook, people could add names to a list and anyone can help with the healing, they just focus on sending it to the people on the list.
Friday was one hell of a day for the world. New Zealand and that monster that decided to shoot innocent people. It’s disgusting and I’m appalled it happened. Why do people have so much hate in them that they have to go and do these things. Something else I found out and remembered yesterday that we now have family in Christchurch too. They weren’t caught up in any of it, thank god, but they will be shook up by it.
Anyway sending out love and light to everyone and ask you all to do the same.