Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?
When you’re a kid you can go anywhere, talk to anyone and start a friendship. As you get older there are more and more barriers that get in the way.
If you go up to a group of adults to join the conversation you just look creepy. If you manage to get into the conversation it’s more than likely that everyone else is thinking ‘who is this?’.
As an adult you normally need to be introduced to a group of people or be brought into the conversation. When and if you get into a conversation it feel like everyone else that’s there is judging you on what you say and how you say it.
It’s that make a good first impression thing. You have to pay attention to everything and I mean everything. What you say, how you say it, what you’re wearing, how you’re standing or sitting. If you’re having a meal what you’re eating and what you’re drinking what phone you’re using. All these things and lots more are involved in that first impression.
As a kid you have it easy. You can walk up to anyone and no matter what they’re doing or talking about and get involved, join the conversation and there you have the foundations of a relationship.
I’m not sure if it’s a case where kids just don’t care and are easily influenced or if adults are just too picky and awkward.
On TikTok you can watch peoples videos where they are ranting and raving or join a live that someone is doing. They could be doing an activity like knitting or crocheting, having a debate about something like LGBTQIA+ 🏳️🌈 or talking about something the government have or haven’t done. There are loads of psychics, mediums or tarot readers, there’s hundreds of them. They are everywhere. I’ve watched a couple of them doing their lives and got the tingles to say they are actually working with spirit and not just trying to make money out of poor unfortunate people.
After commenting positive things on theirs lives and saying things like I I’ve had a few messages from them trying to get me to have a reading. Basically they wanted money off me. One person said they wanted to learn about my ancestors and work with me to develop a relationship with my ancestors to learn from them. That person messaged me late one night, they were from America so they messaged me in the evening for them but it was late at night here. They kept saying how they wanted to work with me and talking about all sorts of positive things. Eventually the topic of payment came up after a fair bit of pushing from me. ( I had no intention in the slightest of taking her up on the offer). She kept saying she was drawn to me and guided to work with me and all sorts of things like that. All that was running through my head was if you are that guided and drawn to me fine we can have a conversation and maybe do something together but I am not paying anything. So after pushing and pushing and pushing she said that it would cost me $80. Like I said, I had no intonation of paying for anything I just said sorry I can’t afford it. For the next few days she messaged me a few times asking if I was ready for a reading. With this messages I just ignored them and let the person float off into the sea of fakes and frauds on TikTok.
Another person claiming to be a medium messaged me after I commented on one of there videos. This is the message I got:
I didn’t reply to that message. And I’m not really sure what to say about it. It’s down right wrong and manipulative. If I didn’t know anything about the world of spirit and energy, getting a message like that would freak me out and probably put me into a panic. I would probably be wanting to do anything I possibly could to get rid of the negativity and clean up my energy. This person (I won’t say psychic or medium) is just out to scam money from people. I can say safely that there isn’t much if any work being done with spirit. I trust that spirit will deal with him accordingly. I don’t need to know how or what they’ll do. I have some ideas of what they’ll do but I know and trust that what ever they do will be the best thing that needs to happen.
I talked about those things as it is sort of an attempt to make a connection to people online. The online world is huge. You can pretty much go anywhere, do anything and even be anything. I may have commented about something they said on their videos. I probably agreed with whatever they were taking about. I think they were having a conversation about running development groups or something like that.
Normally I feel that generally having something in common with someone is a good way to start things off. You normally have something to talk about with the other person. Take the Sanntangle world, there are thousands of people in that community and I’d be more than happy to talk to any of them. There would be some initial nerves but that’s just the way my head and body works now. I’m generally nervous talking to or meeting anyone for the first time. And it’s just the same messaging or talking to anyone online for the first time.
When leaving a comment on someone’s video or picture or someone’s content I feel like I over analyse everything. It normally takes a couple of attempts to type the message or comment. It’s not because of technical issues. It’s because I’m constantly thinking how it will come across, if someone reading it will find it offensive, if it might upset the creator (of the content, not god), if the point I’m trying to make is clear, make sure that it can’t be taken in the wrong way. The character limit comes in to it somewhere too.
So I normally write it, delete it. Write it again then delete it. Stop and think about it. Write it a 3rd time then hit the character limit. Delete it again then do a it more thinking. Then write it yet again and read through it a good few times and when I think I’m happy with it hit the submit or send button. Then once it’s posted, I read it again and see the spelling and grammatical mistakes I’ve made. But sometimes I struggle to see the mistakes because I still read it the way I wanted to type it and not the actual way I’ve written it. Then if I can I’ll go into edit the comment and fix the mistakes.
When I’ve eventually submitted the comment or message I constantly have a worry in the back of my mind of how the message or comment will come across and hope that the person doesn’t think I’m being creepy. I don’t know if what I wrote comes across in that way and it probably doesn’t but it still doesn’t stop me worrying about it.
So yeah after all that rambling waffle I’m just saying that I find it hard to make new friends.
So no onto what’s been going on for the last few weeks. Yes I know it’s been about 12 weeks since the last post and I’m sorry about that. I feel like I need to justify that and give a reason but being honest I don’t have one. I kept saying to myself that I need to do a post, then think I’ll do it later or tomorrow. Then when the time comes I get distracted or find something else to do and later gets pushed further and further away.
As always there have been the usual crafty things, knitting, tangling, card making, parchment work etc. So tiles
They are the tiles I’ve done over the last few weeks. I also did a larger piece or a larger version of one of the tiles from a few weeks ago.
I did it after coming up against a difficult situation. I think I talked about that situation last time. but that is the piece I did.
Sticking with tangling I started the artwork for the Sanntangle Quilt. I’ve done 2 blocks so far it’s just the artwork at the moment, I haven’t done any sewing yet. Here are the blocks I’ve done
Knitting wise I’m still working on my hoodie, I’m not getting very far with it. One evening I had every intention of doing a couple of rows. I took my knitting bag upstairs found a film on Netflix to watch got my knitting out all ready to go. I started the row and got about 3/4 of the way across and the next thing I know the film was finishing and I was no further across the row. I fell asleep, I kept hold of my knitting though and didn’t drop any stitches. I finished the row and had to put my knitting away. Every time since then when I’ve tried to do some knitting I’ve felt my eyes trying to close so had to put it away. So year it’s coming along just very very slowly.
There are other projects that I keep thinking of doing and starting but I’m focusing on finishing my hoodie first before I start anything else.
So last time I talked about working on a parchment piece. I got it finished and I think for a first real attempt at parchment work it doesn’t look too bad.
I’ve the last week or so I dug out my felting mats and needles a to work on a rainbow wall hanging for Lucy.
The red is honestly red wool. It’s not stained with blood from needle stab wounds. I only stabbed my fingers a couple of time. I did break on bend quite a few needles though.
I came up with the idea myself. I think it looks good, what do you think? Let me know.
I’ve also decorated a fairy door for Lucy that she can have in her room.
Something else that has happened over the past few weeks was I went to the second session of the neuro rehabilitation patient carer group. Im finding that a pattern is starting to form with these sessions. One the first one I ended up with blisters on my hands and this time I broke my thumb nail. It was one of those painful breaks where it goes down to the bit where the nail is attached to the top of your your thumb.
You can just see it on that picture. Let just say that it hurt a bit an a couple of swear words cam out of my mouth. I’m starting to wonder if there is going to be a trend of injuring my hands on my wheel chair at these meetings. I hope not but so far I’ve injured my hands at each of them.
On one of the weekends we took a trip to a magical place where dream come true. Well not quite, its still an amazing place though. We went to the Haribo shop at Cheshire oaks. It was a promise and part of a Christmas present from mum and dad. So of course as only to be expected I bought some sweets. I’m not sure if you know anything about Cheshire oaks but basically it’s a huge shopping centre with lots and lots and lots of shops. While we were there I did get myself some new boots. I’ve wanted some new boots for ages and I found a pair that I liked look of. Here are my new boots
After all that insanity it’s time to bring things to a close.
Stay safe, be kind and above all Love and Light