What have I done? Sweet Jesus what have I done? I know it’s a line from a song but it’s the way I’m feeling at the moment. People don’t seem to want to reply to my messages. I’m feeling all cut off and lonely at the moment. Whether people are too busy or what I don’t know. It just feels hard that it always seem to be me that makes the effort. Seems that way with most people. It’s always me making the first move.

I’m sat here wracking my brain trying to think if I’ve done anything to upset people. I don’t think I have but feeling like I must have or they would message me or reply to the messages I’ve sent. It’s strange how my mind always seems to look at these things in the negative way. I am trying to be a lot more positive but it’s hard at times. Especially when I’m feeling the way I am at the moment. What tops it off is that a friend messaged me earlier asking how I was. I replied saying not to bad but feeling lonely and cut off today. I didn’t even get a reply. I know that person is probably busy doing something else but the great mind I have is going they hate you, they don’t like you, they wish you weren’t here messaging them.

It’s hard when this happens. Trying to break yourself out of it when your mind is like that. What to try. I know I’ve tried a few different, but nothing seems to be working. Funny programs have helped a bit but not fully. The feeling is still there. What else can I try? Is there a magic solution to the problem? I guess this applies to a lot of things and a lot of people. I know through sheer determination I will not go back to that very dark place. I need to find the light again.

Finding the Light. From a spiritual point of view, light dispels all darkness and there is the smallest bit of light to be found in any darkness. I suppose I just have to find the light in this situation and make it grow. Kindle the flame and help it burn. That’s the only way to do it. Taking a step back and looking at things in a different way is a good place to start.

I know typing these messages helps a lot. Not really sure if anyone reads them or not. But getting things out there seems to be a good healthy way to deal with things. Going through them and out the other side. The other side, it’s a good place to be.

I just hope people find their way through the darkness that they are dealing with. Please talk to friends or relatives or just anyone that will listen. That can be a good place to get help.just typing this has made me feel so much better. It’s like I said, taking the step back is a great way to look at things. I know it’s a bit of a rant. I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me or anything like that I need to learn how to deal with these things on my own. I know this is a great place to start.

Anyway, as always Love and light.