Sorry I’ve not posted in so long. I haven’t really known how to put across everything that’s been going through my head.

There are times when I really hate the way my head works. Mental health is no laughing matter and should be taken seriously. As most of you know my mental health isn’t the best. I don’t really want to type this, but I’m determined to do it. I started this website to put out there everything that’s been going on with me and there, and at times doing that has really helped me. Putting things down like this helps get them out of my head, it stops me focusing on them. And when things keep going round and round in my head it isn’t a good thing.

Monday was one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time. I wasn’t feeling well at all. Pain was through the roof, my anxiety was playing up and I was just feeling rubbish mentally. I was feeling like I was a burden to everyone, couldn’t do anything, that I was a total failure and everything I was doing, was utter crap. Things that had been going on just kept going round and round and round in my head.

One of the things that sets off my anxiety is medication. I’m scared that when I have anything to do with sorting it out I’ll do something wrong. From past experience, when my medication hasn’t been right or if I don’t take it for whatever reason it completely messes me up with pain, anxiety, mood and other bad things. So because of those bad things that happen if something is wrong I’m scared of making a mistake. Because I’m scared of making mistakes with it I don’t like doing it. Because I feel like that I then start feeling guilty that it’s another job for mum to do.

Normally the medication is done for a week or two or maybe more. For example, if the pills have been set out for three weeks, and if something runs out midway through that, I start stressing and worrying that the bad things will happen if we can’t get which ever medication it is that run out. And that could be a few weeks away and is very unlikely to happen.

When medication has been ordered, and if it’s due to be ready on Wednesday, but from Thursday that week we don’t have any medication left. I stress and worry that it won’t be ready in time and I’ll have to b go without it for a while. Again I know this is very unlikely and mum wouldn’t let this happen but that doesn’t stop the worry.

On the plus side though yesterday and today I am feeling loads better and the dark ugly things aren’t playing on my mind.

But crafting and Sanntangle really helps with my mental health so if you’re struggling remember you are loved and people care about you and why not give crafting or Sanntangle a go.

Another good thing I can say, is that I have finally made it to the top of the waiting list with healthy minds and have started working with them to deal with my anxiety. I’m working on something called Cognitive Restructuring. Sounds complicated doesn’t it? But from what I can tell, it about reprogramming the way my brain looks at things especially the way it deals with things that trigger anxiety problems. Only had one session so far and that’s been the usual paperwork and go through things. As part of that I’m doing something called a Thought Diary, and that’s where I’m recording anything that sets off bad feelings or anxiety. I making note of the thought, the situation that’s caused it, the emotions I’m feeling, how much I believe in the thought and how strong the emotion is. I have a few things on there already and I’m adding more as and when I need to.

Like I said earlier, Mental Health is no laughing matter. Please check in on your loved ones, let them know they are loved, they aren’t a burden and that they are worth it.

After that pretty deep section let get on to some crafty things.

Crochet wise I’m still working on the shawl I’m making for mum, no real change with that. I’ve only been doing it on Thursdays and Sundays at knitting. It is growing slowly but it’s looking nice.

Of course over the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing Sanntangle tiles too:

Recently I’ve been playing around and learning to fully edit videos. I’ve been learning how to cut things out of videos, put things in them, speed them up, slow them down, fully edit them and add things like music etc. it’s been interesting and I’m learning more and more as I go on. I’m sure that learning journey will continue as I go.

This is one of the YouTube thumbnails I’ve made. I should point out that non of the artwork in this picture is mine. I just brought it all together into the one picture:

Another thing I did was to work on one of the new Sanntangle Postcards. It was shown also show on Hobby Maker.

I’ve made a couple of cards over the past few weeks:

I’ve been doing some vinyl work over the past few weeks too.

This started off as a plain notebook that I got for making notes about MS Group Things. I decided it needed something on the front and this is what I came up with. Problem now is it just feel almost naughty to open it and use it. I’ll get over it at some point and as the sign says start using it for words and stuff for meetings and things.last month I showed a pictures of the awesome award/plaque. Well it didn’t get sent off straight away and a week or so later I decided I didn’t like it so re did it in and changed a few things. Here is the new version and this is a the one that was sent off and greatly received:

I also remade a sign that was going up in Dexter’s Garden at Oldham Royal hospital.

This is the original:

As it was on a wood slice it started coming apart even though I covered the vinyl in UV resin. As water does it found its way inside and managed to make a mess of it.so when it came home it went in the bin and I made a new one:

This one is on an acrylic sheet and I sealed the vinyl on with some mod podge. So hopefully this should last a hell of a lot longer.

I also decorated a a Stanley cup for my sister. I don’t have pictures just a little video. It was easier to show it that way.

Katie picked the colours. I did want to put Git Face on it somewhere but she don’t give me the freedom to do that. So, I just went with what she suggested. Pretty boring really. But it’s got her name, some little foot prints and the baby loss awareness ribbon.

Another bit of c acting I’ve done recently is some crystal art work.

I’ve also done this:

While I was at knitting the other day on one of my many wanders round the shop I saw this fabric and thought it would make a brilliant project for knitters:

I picked up a few other fat quarters that day too with some very cool things on them that relate to crafty things so I think they’ll make brilliant shopping bags or maybe something else:

I think that’s about it. As it’s Valentine’s Day today make sure you love those you’re close to and spread love round the world.

Love and Light.