I need to apologise for not posting anything in the last few weeks. I’ve been on holiday with mum and dad. I wanted to post something earlier but there was something playing on my mind (really playing on my mind) that I shouldn’t post something about being away because people could then use the information and break into the house. By playing on my mind I really mean anxiety level.

For the couple of weeks before we went away my anxiety was playing up a fair bit. No matter what I did I’d get that panicky anxiety feeling. It was pretty pants being honest. I think it was partly due to the upcoming holiday.

I was worrying about the journey down there. What I’d be doing when I was there. How would I get around while I was there. Would I have enough clothes to last for 3 weeks. Would the house be safe while we were away. How would Zoe be while we were away. You name it I was worrying about it and it was playing on my mind. There would be times I was sat in the car on my own while whoever was with me popped into a shop or something. For some reason the anxiety would set it and I start feeling very unsafe. I’d lock the doors and not move so the alarm didn’t go off. Become hyper vigilant and the slightest movement or noise would grab my attention. Be aware of anyone or anything that was moving round the car and pay attention so I’d be ready in case something happened (no idea what I’d do, probably just panic and have a meltdown). Who knew just sitting alone in a car would be so storing and stressful.

Another thing that can set it off is if I’m out somewhere in my chair and there is nothing behind me. If we have to stop somewhere like wait outside a shop or something it can set off panicking if my back is not against a wall or if someone isn’t stood behind me. The worry is that someone could run up and go through the bag on my chair or push me away or do something that isn’t good or nice.

The week before we went away I had an appointment with the MS nurses. It was an actual face to face appointment at the hospital. I almost felt a bit privileged to actually see the person I was talking too. Mum and dad were also there to take in information that I’d forget, ask any questions that need asking , again that I’d forget about or that they had. And also prompt me to talk about things I’d forget to talk about. I didn’t forget much this time and also got to speak about tinnitus, dizzy and wobbliness and my anxiety playing up. Also during the appointment I go to do my MS group thing and tell the nurse about what the group is up to.

After the nurse appointment I said I was worried I wouldn’t have enough clothes for the holiday and we took a trip to Primarni and I spent a small fortune and ended up with more than enough clothes. The problem now we’re home and washing is being done is I needs to have a clear out in my wardrobe to make enough room to store the new clothes.

Nothing else jumps out in my mind about anything that happened before the holiday. But that is the biggest thing that’s happened recently anyway.

So along time ago (not a galaxy far far away) Friday came that we would be traveling down to the boat. My alarm went off at the normal time (I set it for 7:30 2 or 3 years ago and haven’t turned it off. But now it feels wrong to think about turning it off). I packed away the last few things I needed like phone chargers, headphones and toothbrush aand the most important thing, my crystal. When the car, the trailer and roof box were all loaded and nearly every available inch was stuffed it was time for the people. I said earlier I was worried about the journey. I was in the passenger seat, dad was driving, with mum, Mason and Zoe in the back. I know being in the car while it’s busy and the road is full of cars and lorries can set off my anxiety. I can say the journey wasn’t too bad anxiety wise. There were a couple times I started to feel uneasy but I managed to hold it together. I distracted myself and either checked my phone, listened to an audiobook or did something else.

The worst part of the journey was when we stopped at a service station while getting out of the car my band new phone (less than a week old) fell out of my bag and hit the floor. The phone it’s self was ok but it cracked the screen protector. To say I was gutted and annoyed was an understatement.

The most impressive thing about the journey was when we were stopped and another service station I went to use the loo with my radar key. In the loo was a full size changing station. By full size I mean one that can be used to change anyone and everyone from babies to adults. I was impressed because it was the first time I’d seen one in an accessible toilet and it meant that if someone bigger than a baby needs changing they can get that done without having to lie on the loo floor. the changing table was electric and there was a harness in there to lift people it was just refreshing to actually see things in there that can be used to help anyone. I can’t remember which service station it was but I have the farm shop one at Gloucester but I could be wrong.

Anyway about 7pm we arrived in Plymouth and it was the first time in a couple of years I saw the boat.

Because the boat is a short distance along the pontoon (too far and difficult for me to walk) I needed my chair to get down to the boat. To get there you have to go up a ramp, through a security gate, over a bridge to get to the pontoon then you have to go along that to get to the boat. The first ramp is to the gate is short and very steep. If I tried to get up it on my own I’d end up falling backwards over my chair. Also because the bridge and pontoons rise and fall with the tide the bridge can be pretty steep. If you look at the wall in the background of that picture you can see the water line/tide line. So the tide was out, which meant the bridge would be steep. I didn’t take a picture of the bridge but it was a bit steep and we had to get down it and I needed help and strong hands to slow down and put on the breaks. It’s safe to say that if I was at the top and the person helping let go I would more than likely end up in the hospital. There is a barrier at the bottom but I do not want to pile into it at speed. Or my hands would be mashed and messed up from trying to stop the wheels.

Because of the ramps and the bridge I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere on my own and I’d need someone to help.

Here is a random picture of Zoe in her buoyancy aid:

We spent the first week of the holiday in Plymouth because the weather was too rubbish to go anywhere by boat. We did have a couple of trips out in the car though. 1 was to Salcombe, it’s a regular place we normally go to while we’re down there. Again the weather was pants so I got wet from rain. Salcombe is not a very accessible place. It’s very uneven roads and pavements. We went up and down the main Street very few of the shops have ramps to get in so if I wanted to go into them I had to get out of my chair and hobble round with my stick. From Salcombe I bought a cap in Cuba & co and some sweets from the sweet shop. We had a Pasty for lunch and some ice cream then back along the uneven streets to the car and back to the boat. Also while we were in Salcombe on the way back to the car I moved over to the side to let people past but my hand decided to have an argument with a wall and my knuckles got all scraped up.

We did the usual wander (or wheel) round the Barbican (again uneven streets and pavements) and into the city centre to go round the shops. After the issues with phone coming out of my bag I bought a new one from Fat Face. This one the shuts securely, woooooo.

Another trip out we had while in Plymouth was very close by the marina within a 5 minute car ride. It’s possible to get there on foot, dad and Zoe did it regularly on their walks, but it wouldn’t be possible in my chair. Ot was on top of the cliffs (Nowhere near the edge) looking out over the sound. It had nice views and there was a cafe and a grassy area that Zoe could play fetch on. It was a bright clear sunny day and what I found out was that I’m quiet sensitive to sunlight. I think some of my medication has made me quite photosensitive so when I’m in the sun it can literally feel like my skin is burning and getting really bad sunburn so even though it was really warm I had to wrap up. On that trip the car was parked at the top of a steep hill and we were lower down. There is a road that we used to get down so dad said he would get the car drive down to pick us up. When dad came down I was in my chair so a backed up a bit to let him get closer but I must have caught something but I ended up falling backwards out of my chair.the pain from falling wasn’t bad it was more about the sheer embarrassment. That was the worst bit. You’re laying on the floor from falling out of your chair and people run round and start fussing about. It’s really embarrassing but I managed to get up and just went to sit in the car. Only a couple of steps because dad had come down the hill. Then back to the boat.

Here is a couple of pictures I got of Zoe while we were out and about.

After the first week the weather had picked up a bit for sailing so we set off for Fowey. It was a relatively straightforward trip. Set off from Plymouth, out of the sound and turn right. We normally go let towards Salcombe but this time the wind had other ideas. After a few hours we arrived in Fowey. It wasn’t a marina like Plymouth it was just pontoons that weren’t connected to the shore. So if you wanted to get to Fowey and into the town you needed to either use the water Taxi or a small dinghy from your boat.

So water taxi it was to get into town. We wouldn’t have been able to get me, my chair, the bits , the stuff mum needs and Zoe on the dinghy. If we tried to do it on our own it would have taken lots of trips.

We all got into town dad found a shop to get the bits we needed for tea. And we had another trip to a bakery for a pasty for lunch and some Ice cream for afters. Fowey was pretty crap. Another inaccessible place with steps into shops there were Cobbled and narrow streets, most of my view in Fowey was of walls. I ended up facing them when I was in my chair being pushed out of the way of cars so yeah pretty pants really.

After Fowey we set sail again, well motored, to Falmouth. Falmouth is where the boat used to be based and somewhere I spent a lot of time when I was a kid. We stayed in Falmouth for a couple of days. While there I bought another cap this one was from the Musto shop. In Falmouth there was a crystal shop and a craft shop and it’s rude to not go into them and buy something. So I came away with some thumb stones. From the craft shop I got a little bag that says just one more row.

Is a little bag but thought it would be perfect for my current/holiday knitting project. On holiday I started knitting some rainbow socks. I got 1 done and to the heel flap on the other but I need to finish it off.

While sailing into Falmouth we went past an immortal place. We went past Fraggle rock

I used to love watching Fraggle Rock and when the boat was in Falmouth we used to sail past it twice on every holiday. Once going out and one back in.

Knitting was one of the two craft I could do while away. The other was of course Sanntangle. Before I went away I’d a couple of tiles and I did 6 others while on holiday. I’ve done every tile since 101 so I could stop for something like a holiday. Anyway here are all the tiles I’ve done.

Sticking with Tangling the Tile Swap arrived while I was away. Here is the tile I sent

And I received 2. Both from Sue Staff. I’m guessing she couldn’t decide which tile to send so she sent both:

They’re brilliant aren’t they?

Unfortunately, while we were in Falmouth Zoe was playing with some other dogs. She went to jump back on the boat and missed. She landed in the water and swam like a proper little trooper. Thankfully there was a guy in a dinghy close by so he manage to fish her out. To me though she did seem a bit panicky while swimming but it all turned out ok though. She was fished out and dried off and she ended up getting lots of treats that day,

After Falmouth we went up a river close by to hide from a storm or something. We got a bit of rain where we were and maybe a little bit of wind but nothing really bad.

From the river we were going to head back to Fowey, we got there but there was no room for us and all the pontoons had signs on saying they were all reserved for Fowey week so we went back out of the little river mouth where Fowey is and carried on our journey back to Plymouth. One one of the trips I wash tired so I went for a sleep and I ended up waking up to this sight:

Zoe had fallen asleep next to me. Bit of an unexpected surprise but it was funny so I couldn’t resist getting a picture of it.

So back in Plymouth we had some time to kill before we were coming home so mum and dad had chance to meet up with some friend that moved down there. Something else that happened in Plymouth was the finals of the British Fireworks championship. So over 2 nights there were 6 teams competing by putting on a fireworks display. The fireworks were being set off from the Mountbatten breakwater. That is not very far away. I might have told you before that Zoe doesn’t like fireworks. They scare her senseless each display was only 10 minutes long but we had one very scared dog to deal with. I did get a couple of videos of the display we watched. I’ve put them on YouTube and here are links if you’d like to see them.

Something did happen while we were back in Plymouth. I fell into one of the shrouds on the boat (wire thing that holds the mast up). It hurt a bit when I did it but not really badly. But the bruise that’s come up on my arm is something shocking.

A day or two after the fireworks we came home. I was a bit anxious again about the car ride but I’d done it once so I could do it again. It was a pretty simple and straightforward journey home with no issues. Now it’s just the fun of getting all the washing done and dealing with an achy bruised arm.

The other thing if you hadn’t noticed is that the because of the new phone the camera on it is better so the pictures should now be of a better quality. Here are some other pictures I’d taken that I couldn’t fit into. There are a couple of cards I’d done too:

I did make some cards for dad’s birthday but I can’t find any pictures of them so I’ll probably have forgotten to take them and also there are a couple of cards I made for mums birthday in there too.

That’s about it for now so I’ll leave the epic there.

Love and light