So Saturday evening mum dad and mason came home. it was great to see them and nice to have more people in the house.

I’ve spent this past weekend working on flowers for the arrangement. I’ve added some yellow Iris because dawn said they were Bob’s favourite flowers. Also there were a few gaps that needed filling so I made some tulips too.

I think the arrangement is finally finished.

What do you think?

Everyone that has seen pictures of it says it’s great. Ive shared it on Facebook to a flower making group and I’ve only had positive feedback. Things like that make me feel great.

On a sad note though a friend of the family passed away this week. It’s never nice when things like that happen. It brought back some memories and feelings that I don’t like. Being on my own in the house with only Zoe for company didn’t help. Friday night I was well and truly messed up.

I said it brought back memories and feeling and these things scared me. I managed to message katie for help and she came round to sort me out. My mental health isn’t great at the best of times and I’ve had trouble with it for a few years now. It’s mainly down to the way MS has affected my brain and how it now works.

When katie came round we had a bit of a deep and meaningful conversation about the memories and feelings that had been brought up which made me feel loads better. It was the start of one of those vicious cycles. Where I was starting to feel bad and useless. Zoe wouldn’t come close to me for cuddles which then made me think she didn’t like me. Having to get katie to come round made me feel bad having to bring someone else round which made me feel useless and rubbish. It was a good old anxiety cycle of things heading into a dark place that I didn’t want to be in. So katie taking what felt like hours to come round made me think she didn’t want to and was pissed off at having to come out.

It’s just a shitty cycle where one thing doesn’t happen that leads on to something else and it just gets worse and worse and worse.

Anyway katie managed to bring me out before I ended up too deep and lost in the shit storm.

This video popped up in my memories on Facebook and I shared it again. Watch it it might shed some light on anxiety:

https://fb.watch/7I-ScTJJNv/

So on to Sanntangling. Here are the tiles I’ve done this week:

The second one I got to play with my watercolours again which is always good.

Sticking with Sanntangle this Friday is the grand opening of Sandra’s new office where she can do classes. I was honoured to be invited to the Friday session. When I was invited I contacted mum to see if she could get me there. She said she could so I went straight back to Sandra to get my name on the list. I then decided I wanted to do an all day workshop on Saturday. So I booked me and mum into a hotel near by so we could stay over on Friday night and I could do the workshop on Saturday. I’m really looking forward to it and excited to finally meet Sandra in person.

A couple of posts ago, no idea when but I talked about having a fan girl moment when someone I respected commented on a tile I’d done. That person is going to be at the workshop on Saturday so I get to meet her too. Soo eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!! More excitement.

Sanntangle has helped me a hell of a lot over the past year and I know it’s helped others people too. I’ve had a laugh with Sandra to say that when I meet her on Friday I’m going to scream and go full on fan girl. Joking obviously but I am excited to meet people in person rather than through Facebook. It’s one thing seeing people on TV and hearing their voice on a Facebook live but to actually meet them is something completely different. I’m looking forward to it.

Sticking with crafting my big shot pro handle broke again. It spun round cracked me on the back of the hand and fell off. Just like last time. I got back in contact with Sizzix. I phoned them this time. Yes me ringing someone, shocking I know I don’t quite know where I got the confidence from but I did it. They’re sending out another handle.

That day though I asked people for their opinion on die cutting machines. I did it on a Facebook group for Tattered Lace. I thought getting other people’s options would help me. There were that many suggestions for machines and some people even tried to war me off others. Let’s just say reading through the comments left me more confused than I was when I started. So I too the plunge and bought a kit and caboodle pro cut. It was on an amazing offer with create and craft and it looks like it should arrive tomorrow. More excitement.

I’m not looking forward to tomorrow though. I have to got to the dentist for a filling. I hope it’s not one where they have to go really deep with the 12 inch needle that hurts like hell. I’ll find out out tomorrow.

With that I’m getting tired and it’s time for bed.

Love and light