Why oh why oh why do I do this crazy stuff to myself.

While typing this I’m sat in front of the telly and a certain celebrity chef is on. I just don’t like the bloke. I find him really annoying. No idea why but I keep watching his programs.

The other thing is I keep watching other tv programs and series where something happens to the main character. They may get shot or something like that. It really winds me up and sets off my anxiety. Part of me knows they won’t kill the person off but for some reason I get really really invested in the show and the characters. I know it’s not real life and it’s unlikely they’ll kill them off but I have to know what happens to them and make sure they’re ok.

Anxiety is an utter bastard, part of me knows what sets me off is stupid and pointless but I can’t stop stressing about the stupid pointless thing.

I keep trying loads of different things to try and help fight the anxiety and it takes a hell of a lot of effort to calm down. Sometimes it’s watching the next episode, sometimes it’s meditating, sometimes I turn to crystals to help and then there is always alternative therapies like reiki or Karuna. These thing all seem to work some take longer than others and some a just quick fixes. But the best thing I’ve found is to talk to my mum. She’s awesome. If she’s not around I turn to the wonderful world of spirit.

Spirit are a great source to help deal with anything. I just talk to my guides to help or to another spirit that may be around.

I know I need to do some more work with spirit but there will always be time for that.

Over the last few days pain has been around. It’s so annoying and gets me down at times but the sad thing is I’m getting used to it now and it’s almost becoming a normal thing, I just carry on.

I had a sleep study the other day. It was at home thank god. I was in my own bed. The only issue was that I had to sleep while I was wired up. I’ll put a picture below. I looked like a crap cosplay version of a robot. I just have to wait and see now what happens next.

Anyway Love and Light.