I know it’s been a long time since my last post but thats mainly because I feel I’ve been put through the wringer recently.
I haven’t had a great time recently. Not sure f you saw the Facebook post the other day. But here goes the list of what’s been going on.
- Having a possible ms relapse.
- Old MS symptoms have been flaring up.
- Emotions completely messed up.
- Losing my driving licence.
- Temperature control issues.
- Getting told off by MS nurses.
- Starting to diet.
- Possible food allergy.
So let’s start going through the list of problems.
The possible MS relapse
My mum, dad and GP think I may be having a relapse as new symptoms have appeared. Recently I’ve been trembling, shaking and shuddering uncontrollably. It’s not great. Especially trying to shave. Last few days though it has calmed down thankfully. It does seem to get a lot worse though if the anxiety kicks off. The MS nurses seem to think it’s unlikely to be a relapse though due to the treatment I’m on. They did ask the neurologist who said better to make sure, so he is sending me for another MRI. Just have to wait for the appointment to come through.
Old symptoms flaring up.
A lot of the symptoms I already have have been playing up recently to. I’ve been getting a lot of pain, a lot of dizziness, and spent most of my time confused. Oh I forgot what I was going to say. Nothing new there. Oh yeah, it’s, sorry forgot again. Concentration, that’s the other one. When other things are happening I can’t concentrate on what I’m trying to do. Like having a conversation and not being able to focus on it, getting distracted by other noises, music playing, TV. If you hadn’t guessed memory is also an issues. There’s been times when I have completely forgotten something. At one point I was convinced I needed to call my manager and say I won’t be in work coz I’m not well. I haven’t been in work for over 12 months and I finished in February or March. It’s been crap. Everyone including me seems to think this is related to the hot weather recently. I know most people love it but I don’t. It makes anyone with ms struggle and makes their symptoms go on overload. I think we’ve had enough now lol.
Completely messed up emotions.
How many times have I been in tears over the last week or so. It seems to be a near daily occurrence. Most of the time I know something is happening but have no idea what. I know I don’t feel right but not sure how or what’s wrong. No idea how to explain what’s happening. I’m tagging my anxiety issues in here to. That has been on smack recently. Crowds, people I don’t know, loud high pitched noises even noises from the car so windows opening, parking sensors, other people honking. It just freaks me out. And at the times I can’t cope all I can do is cry.
Losing my driving licence.
Not much I can say about that. It’s happened. I was shocked when the letter came and it said I have to send it off. Again more tears. I expected it but it now feels real. I thought I would be able to keep the card and they just did something to cancel it. I haven’t driven for over 12 months and being honest the thought of driving now scares me shitless. Just thinking I can get confused while driving and killing myself or someone else. Not worth thinking about. It’s amazing how attached you can get to a plastic card.
Temperature Control
Last few days I haven’t been able to control my body temperature. One minute I’ve been hot, the next I’ve been cold, then hot and cold at the same time. I’ve been wrapped up stripped down. It’s been really awkward.
Getting told off by the MS Nurses
Well had an appointment with them the other day. During that they told me off for focusing on MS. And in a way they were right. Most of the things I’ve done recently have been MS related. Working with The MS Society, going to hospital appointments for ms, going to other MS events. Talking about MS. Basically they said I have MS it does not have me. I need to stop focusing on it. It sounds silly but it was right. It was the kick up the area I needed. They even mentioned putting on weight. Which I have. And I need to stop comparing myself to others. Again another thing I’ve been doing. Anywhere I’ve been that there has been other people that are ill, MS or something else I’ve compared myself and felt I’ve been the worst one. Mainly cos I was sat in a wheel chair. Not the best thing to do.
Starting to Diet.
Well I didn’t want to do it. But I went to weight watchers with my mum and dad. To get out of the house for something that wasn’t MS related. My sister decided to sign me up. What fun that was. She made me get on the scales. I was scared because I was expecting a really bad number. But it wasn’t which is good. The fateful number was 15, 11. I expected about 18 or something. It’s not to bad cos the last time I weighed myself it was 14 something. So not bad for not being mobile anymore. Anyway I started the diet on Friday morning. Had the odd craving now and then but nothing major.
And finally the possible food allergy
Well after a couple of meals recently I haven’t been well. At first we though it was chilli. But then was ill after a meal with out it. So looking to see what’s in these meals. It turns out the only thing that was the same in both of them was bell peppers. I know paprika doesn’t like me and after a quick google search I found out that it’s made from mashed up dried bell peppers. So it looks like I have an allergy to them. What fun.
Anyway. That is definitely enough ranting raving and rambling from me. Hope everyone is good. Love and light.
