I hate not feeling right! At least tonight though there is a reason behind it. I was in pain earlier so had to have some painkillers. Issue is the only pain killer that seems to help at the moment is tramadol. Ibuprofen and paracetamol don’t touch it but I’m taking them regularly anyway. So I had a tramadol at about 6:30. I’ve felt spaced out and drunk for most of the evening. It’s such a strange feeling. I don’t feel fully her if that makes sense. A bit like I’ve had too much to drink without the drinking. I know why people get addicted to these pills though. It’s simply just by following the doctors orders. Take them often enough your body relies on them so when you stop your body is missing something so gives you withdrawal symptoms to tell you to take more. I know, I’ve been there.

I know it’s not all down to that. There will be some people who like the lack of feeling.They enjoy feeling numb. Their choice, just says to me though that they need help.

I had another sleepless night last night. Not happened for a while. Being awake all night is so boring. TV goes rubbish or you can’t find anything decent to watch. When it happens I find myself watching YouTube videos or playing games on my phone.

I have had a few things going on though over the past couple of days. Had my hair done yesterday. Finally after what feels like forever my roots have been done. I’m still purple. I finally like the colour lol. It’s out there but not too out there if that makes any sense at all.

About 10pm last night though I decided I was hungry. Nothing new there. I’m always bloody hungry. I had the amazingly bright idea to make cornedbeef hash. God know why I get these ideas. I thought I wanted something proper not just a bag of crisps or something like that. So I started cooking. After a few eventful trips round the kitchen. Sitting on the floor, going flying when trying to get up. Being told off by my dad for trying to do it on my own. I didn’t burn myself though or cut off a finger which is good I suppose. It would have given me something else to do though if something like that happened. Lol.

I’ve also been watching some dvds yesterday and today. Yesterday I watched why’d sisters. It’s a cartoon based on a book by Terry Pratchett. I love the story, it’s basically a rip off of the Scottish play but done from the witches point of view. I love the witches or wyrd sisters. Esmeralda Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick. They are ace. One of my favourite lines from the book and the film is from Granny Weatherwax when she says “things that try and look like things often do look more like things than things”. It’s one of those things that sticks in my head and seems to ring true. Today another discworld cartoon, Soul Music. It’s the first appearance of Susan. Death’s granddaughter. It’s also about music with rocks in.

If you ever get chance either read or listen to the Pratchett discworld books. I love em. It’s a great way to escape the day to day tedium.

At the moment though I’m watching one of my favourite ever films, Time Bandits. I love it, another great escape. I’m not going to talk about it I’d just say go watch it. It’s great.

I have an appointment with the MS nurses tomorrow. I’ve also got to have one of my monthly blood tests. Yeah get up early and get stabbed in the arm. I really do hate blood tests, but hey ho, I have to do it and I knew that’s what had to happen when I decided on Lemtrada.

Last night I nearly applied for a job as a trustee of the ms society. After reading the job description I thought, yeah I can do that or I’d like to do that. Then as I was filling in forms and stuff and talking about my disability and the things I have issues doing I though maybe it wasn’t the right thing. At the moment I don’t like meeting people I don’t know and sometimes have issues talking and thinking. From that I decided I would have real issues. I know more now than I used to but it’s not right to put myself through extra stress if I don’t need it. I wouldn’t be able to cope. Everything I’d have to do if I got the job I struggle with or can’t do anymore so, there you go. Why run before I can walk and all that.

Anyway, time to get back to Time Bandits. I’ll leave you all to it and see you soon. Good night and Love and Light.